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This is where the second part of the formula comes to play. The first was the emotional trigger. Something happened. That sign, the commercial, the song. That trigger reminded you of something and got you thinking about someone. Tell them that. Tell them something happened, a trigger, got you thinking of something that reminded you of them. And tell them you just called to say hi. “And then what?” they persisted. “Then is where the magic happens. Then is when you follow the three pillars of Emotional Relevance in one call and create something deep and meaningful.
Stand Out – because whoever you call is going to be surprised, you can check off this pillar. If you call a good friend, they will be surprised you gotten a bit emotional. If you call a client, they will be surprised (happily surprised) you thought of them. And if you call a prospect, they will be surprised you don’t want to discuss the deal at hand but rather just saying hi.
Make an impact – when you call them up and share with them what got you thinking of them, they then will get to experience that initial emotional moment you did that triggered this call. Except, their emotional experience of this moment will be shared with you. You will share it with them….together. You will laugh about it together, perhaps bring up more memories related to this trigger. And hence, the emotional impact. Whether you like it or not, that moment will directly impact your level of openness and trust with them.
Get personal – I guarantee you that this call will not end with just a “hi”. You ask them how they’re doing (since you’re already talking) and what they’ve been up to. They will ask you as well and this is a great opportunity to catch up, open up and share. You see, when you call them to “just say hi” they feel that you care. And when they feel you care….they will…share.
A friend of mine (started as a client and became a friend….and a client) told me the other day he has never been good with “the people stuff”. I asked him to share more, and he shared he wished he could show his employees he cares more. He mentioned that since everyone in their company works remotely, he doesn’t even bump into anyone anymore to start a random conversation.
He is not the first executive I speak with who share their “fear” from showing they care. For them, this vulnerability serves as somewhat of an exposure. “I don’t want to start talking about my life, I feel exposed” one other client of mine shared when we discussed that same matter. What can I do? He asked.
I recommended he try something. Think about one of your last calls online with some members of your team. Now, think of a conversation during that call that included something that was not work related and the person it was related to. He thought for a minute and recalled that at the beginning of the call, right as he joined, he heard one of the team members sharing how excited they were as they just closed on a house, and they are looking for a reliable moving company.
OK, so now, this conversation we are having, where I’m asking you to remember something, that will be the trigger. And when you now thought about it, what came to mind? Well, to be honest, a friend of mine owns a moving company. Great, I said. So, now, please call this team member, tell them we chatted, and you overheard they closed on a house, be happy for them, and offer to connect them with your moving buddy. And he did. And the team member loved it.
My client got excited as he felt appreciated, the team member loved it as she felt cared for and along the way, my client also learned they are moving next to his sister’s house and offered to make an intro. I recommended he put a weekly reminder on his calendar to simply call someone and say hi. It is amazing what you find out when you just call to say hi.
“Yesterday I made 12 random calls. I talked to one man named Dale for three hours. He told me amazing things.” Robin Williams in "Patch Adams"
My friend, who started as a client, also received a similar recommendation from me. Just call them to say hi. The conversation will flow from there, I promise.
He called me the other day. “Alon, I want to thank you. I called a couple of folks, and it was indeed magical. I learned so much about them. And these are people I know.” He went on to share that he made a list of 70 (!!!) names and his goal is to call each of them by Christmas. He was already 15 names down when we spoke. And each one of these 15 interactions has been emotional according to him. For both sides. And even though the conversations went longer than he anticipated, he felt moved by each one.
“Yesterday I made 12 random calls. I talked to one man named Dale for three hours. He told me amazing things.” Robin Williams in Patch Adams
So next time you drive and see a sign that reminds you of someone, an ad that makes you laugh and think of an old friend, a commercial that moves you to tears because you miss someone that much, just call’em up and say hi.
Writing this blog, I am imagining each of you reading it. I am thinking how you will react to this part or to that data point. I am imagining you getting emotionally triggered by the stories I share and that it gets you to think of similar experiences. And if you did not see my name pop up on your screen recently, go ahead and know that seeing your name on my screen will trigger a smile.
So....just call me up.
Happy Holidays!