And the emotional anchoring continues

My better half and I bought tickets to see Sting and Billy Joel in Vegas a couple of months back. A couple of days before the concert I looked at her and said I was tired of traveling so much and perhaps we should not fly all the way across the country just for one night for a concert. She replied with the utmost understanding and we agreed that if I could

sell the tickets at no less than 75% of what we paid for them, we would cancel the trip.

So, I placed the tickets online for sale on a few sites including Facebook. A few hours

later, with no interest at all from any potential buyer, I get a note via Facebook

messenger: ” Hi Alon, I see you’re selling tix to Billy Joel, we’re actually going already

but will you be in Vegas this weekend by chance?”

I soon realized the message is from a former client of mine. And by former, I mean there is no previous correspondence in that chat. I do not have the guy’s number, we haven’t

talked in about 20 years. I have no idea what he’s doing these days. All I remember is

that he was a nice guy, and that we met once or twice during the sales process in the

early days of the 2000s when I was living in Boston working for a software company

called Interwise and he was starting his business living in Canada. To be completely

honest, when I saw the note, I went to his profile picture to make sure I remembered

what he looked like.

I responded that I couldn’t sell the tickets that we were coming to Vegas and that

we should meet. 2 days later we sit together for lunch, catching up on these past 20

years and share our overall amazement at how small the world has become. Towards

the end of the meal, he asks if I remember what I gave him back then right before I left

Boston. I did not recall what it was but I saw he got emotional when he asked. He

promised to send a picture and we parted ways with a hug. One of the things I talk a lot about in my philosophy of Emotional Relevance is Emotional Anchors. These could be small emotional moments you would share with clients, and I would bring them back into our ongoing conversation at the right timing so it triggers an emotional reaction. The key to these Emotional Anchors is to anchor them initially when they arise.

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"The initial anchoring happens ONLY if there is an emotional reaction.

Hence the name – Emotional Anchor" Alon Zaibert

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However, the main, and long-term anchoring, happens over time when you bring back the initial anchoring into your correspondence with your client. For example (something that happened to me just a few weeks ago) – on a call with a client, she mentioned she recently had a death in the family on her father’s side. I asked her to share some more (I looked like she really wanted to open up a bit). After I listened carefully, I asked if it was OK for me to share a personal story as well (this is another element under the umbrella of Emotional Relevance where studies show that when someone shares something personal, or emotional with us, we instinctively feel the need to relate and share a relatable story of our own). She agreed and I shared with her a story related to the passing of my father some 15 years ago. We had a moment. A virtual hug. An emotional moment. My following email to her the next day included a personal note and thank you for her sharing. I also wrote how it made me feel and I appreciated her listening to my story as well. This was the initial anchoring.

A few weeks later, on a phone call, I told her that I shared our initial conversation with my brothers, and it got all three of us to jump on a Zoom call and reminisce about our dad. The emotional anchoring continues. Emotional Anchoring can also take place with physical objects. As long as the object stems from a relevant and emotional mutual experience. A couple of years ago, I met with a group of 8 clients. We have been meeting for a year and a half monthly, online, and face to face every 4-5 months. This particular meeting was a face-to-face one and the end of the year holiday season was near. I bought a book for each of them and wrote a personal note inside the book. 2 years have gone by. We still meet and they still share every now and then the book I gave them meant a lot and that every time someone comes to their office they ask about that book on their desk and they tell them the story and show them the note I wrote.

The anchoring continues.

I bought relevant pictures, signs, maps, and more. I genuinely wanted them to have this. I wanted them to have something that would remind them of me. Remind them of that feeling of when we had that emotional moment related to whatever it is I bought them. Sting was awesome. Billy Joel is phenomenal. And a few days go by. That guy, my former client we met in Vegas and I exchanged some thank you notes. I shared the story with a few friends the following few days as, after all, not every day you get a note from someone you haven’t communicated with for over 20 years. And it went away. Then, a few days later, he sent me another note. This time with a picture: “Alon, Thanks for the encouragement and belief in my past company. I kept this money clip you once gave me with the belief that one day I would succeed. It’s the small things that matter. Wishing you, Karin, and your family all the best in 2025. ”

Sometimes it's as simple as that.

And the emotional anchoring continues.